


Happy Holidays From Your Least Favourite Homosexuals

by bry0psida



Series: Harringrove Advent [13]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Christmas Cards, Established Relationship, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21780481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bry0psida/pseuds/bry0psida
Summary: Steve's family haven't had any contact with him since he came out as bi. He gets wind from Robin that he's being excluded from the family Christmas Card. Billy has the solution.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington/Billy Hargrove
Series: Harringrove Advent [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558885
Comments: 18
Kudos: 177





	Happy Holidays From Your Least Favourite Homosexuals

“Alright, who’s next?” Steve calls. Robin steps up to the counter. Steve smiles at her. “Well hello there, cousin of mine.” Robin just raises her brows in response. “What would you like?”

“For you to make me a bomb ass latte and take your break.”

“Comin’ right up.” Steve makes Robin’s latte with extra vanilla syrup, just how she likes it, then makes his own cup. He slides Robin’s latte to her across the counter, turns to his coworker.

“Alright if I take my break?” Steve asks. His coworker looks up from her book with a huff, gestures at the near empty cafe with a sweep of her hand before returning to said book. Steve turns back to Robin, whispers, “She who does not speak has granted me permission to smoke with you.” Then waggles his eyebrows at her. Robin snickers.

Steve opens the little door on the counter. Robin steps through and Steve closes it behind her. They pass through the staff door into the small kitchen and head for the staffroom.

“Does she not ever talk?” Robin asks.

Steve shrugs on his jacket. “Not if she doesn’t have to. She’s pretty boring to work with when it’s slow but she’s great during lunch rush.”

They step out into the cold. Robin sips her coffee while Steve digs his cigarettes out of his inner pocket.

“So, you’ll never guess who I got off the phone with before I came in,”

Steve hands her a cigarette. “Heather?”

“Someone a little less fun, a lot more neurotic,”

“Your mom?”

“Bingo,” Steve lights his cigarette, then Robin’s. Takes a drag.

“What’d she want?”

“They’re doing the family Christmas card early this year, she was asking, no, demanding I show my face.”

“Are you going to?”

Robin frowns at him. “After the way they’ve all been treating you? Fuck no.”

Steve smiles a little at that, elbows her gently. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”

She returns it, elbows him back. “Hey, us flaming homosexuals have to stick together.” Steve snorts.

“Is that what you told her?”

“Wish I had,”

“What did you say?”

“I asked if you were invited, she said no, I asked why, she said some bullshit about family values. Then I said something like, ‘Well you can all shove your homophobic family values up your collective asses,’ or some other terrible cliche.”

Steve cringes. “ _Oooh_. How’d she take it?”

“Lot’s of stop-start self defense crap. I just hung up on her.”

They talk and smoke and drink their coffees few minutes more before heading back to work.

…

  
Steve didn’t think it would bother him at all, let alone this much. He _hates_ taking those pictures every year with a burning passion. Hates how pretentious it is, how everyone pretends not to hate each other and fakes interest in Steve’s life, asks him questions they should know the answer to.

“I didn’t think it would bother me,” he tells Billy. “But I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Billy pumps his weights. “This might come off as a little insensitive.” Steve mutes the tv. “You hate taking these pictures every year, right?” Steve nods once. “Then why do you care? At least you don’t have to go.”

“It’s the principle of it. This would have been the perfect opportunity for my asshole family to reach out and apologise, or at least try to be civil. They invited Robin.”

“Robin’s in the closet,”

“Yeah, but they _knew_ she’d tell me and not go. They probably only invited her to spite me,”

Billy stops mid curl. “Say that last part again.”

“They only invited Robin to spite me,”

“That’s it,” Billy puts down his weights. “They excluded you, so you need to exclude them.”

“I mean, I am? They didn’t get a Thanksgiving invite and they sure aren’t getting one for Christmas, either.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying we need to make our own Christmas card with our own family.”

Steve blinks, then breaks out into a huge smile. “Oh my god, you _genius_.” Steve jumps up, puts both hands on Billy’s cheeks, plants a big wet kiss on his nose. “That’s perfect, you’re perfect.”

Billy chuckles, puts down his weights and wipes his nose with the back of his hand. Steve lowers his own hands to Billy’s shoulders. “So we’re doing this?” He asks.

Billy smiles back at him, all teeth. “Fuck yeah.”

… 

What started as a relatively simple idea becomes something of a massive undertaking. First they have to decide who’s invited, then they actually need to be invited, then they have to coordinate a day when all their friends are free, then they need to come up with a theme, then they need to pick a location, then they need to set dress, then they need to find a photographer who isn’t Robin since she’s in the photo.

It’s a lot of work for Steve between his job and school and his relationship and his dog, but he’s more excited than he’s been in months.

The day rolls around almost too quickly. Steve can’t wait to take the picture but he doesn’t want the process to be over.

Steve and Billy check themselves in the mirror one last time before leaving. They’ve grown matching moustaches just for the occasion. Billy’s going shirtless with suspenders, black pleather assless chaps and a matching breton cap emblazoned with the word GAY. Steve’s gone for something a little less shocking but no less camp. He’s wearing a shiny pair of athletic booty shorts, a white crop top, reflective ray bans and Nike Cortez sneakers.

Billy shamelessly checks himself out. Steve also checks Billy out because how can he not. Billy catches him staring and winks before shrugging on one of his longer coats. Steve leashes the dog before throwing on his own and they get on their way.

Steve knocks on Robin’s door, a quick rap of the knuckles. Heather answers in a red swimsuit with a matching whistle. Billy wolf whistles at her as he steps in, shoulders off his coat. “Remind me to slip and fall in the pool next time we go swimming.” Heather smacks him square on his bare ass, hard enough to leave a hand print.

“Here they are, the men of the hour!” Robin materialises in the doorway to the bedroom looking every bit the stereotypical lesbian clad in a backwards cap, a flannel shirt with sleeves rolled to her elbows, ripped jeans and boots.

Steve makes a show of looking her up and down as he lets the dog off the leash. “Butch is a good look on you.”

Robin bounds across the apartment, starts frantically undoing his buttons. “Get this shit off, I wanna see what you’re wearing under-oh my god.”

“What? Not gay enough?”

Robin shakes her head. “No no, it’s more than gay enough.”

“You should see Billy.” Steve scans the studio in search of him, spots him bending down as he loots through the fridge. Robin chokes on her own spit when she catches sight of him. “Oh my _god_. This is gonna be so perfect. My mom might actually have a heart attack when she gets this card.”

The rest of their mutual friends from college and local clubs slowly filter into the apartment. It starts to feel more like a party than a photoshoot when Billy gets some Bronski Beat playing. It takes several minutes for Robin to wrangle everyone into place. There’s a drag king and queen, couples and throuples, brides and brides, grooms and grooms, and an assortment of dogs all wearing harnesses or collars or neckerchiefs in some variation of pride flag. Steve and Billy take their place at the centre, right beside Robin and Heather. The photographer only has one instruction for them all as they strike their poses: make it gay as fuck.

Steve angles Billy so both his face and bare ass are visible, grabs two handfuls and kisses him as salaciously as possible. The room is momentarily filled with subdued moans, skin slapping skin and some light giggling. Steve sees three bright flashes through his eyelids, and then it’s over. Everyone breaks apart to cheer, someone gets the music back on. Billy pulls away first, pupils blown wide. “Shouldn’t kiss me like that when we’re not at home or the club, baby.”

“Hey, guys! Guys! This isn’t a party!” Robin yells. It’s too late. Someone brought champagne, Steve hears it pop and a small chorus of cheers as it foams onto the floor. Robin pinches the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “Jesus Christ.”

Billy steps out of Steve’s space and into Robin’s, places a hand on her shoulder. “You really should’ve known better than to invite a large group of twenty somethings and college students to your huge studio apartment and not expect a party.”

Robin flaps her mouth at Billy’s back as he joins the throng of people dancing.

“We’ll help clean up,” Steve tells her.

“ _Help_? You’ll do all the damn cleaning.”

Steve huffs a laugh. “You’re sure about this, right? Once it’s sent you can’t take it back.”

“Little late for me to have second thoughts, don’t you think?”

“Everyone’s still here, we can take another without you in it.”

Robin looks across the floor at Heather. She’s laughing breathlessly as Billy spins her round and round. Robin sighs around a smile, looks back at Steve. “Trust me, I’m sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> No idea how I feel about this one honestly. The UK election news has hit me extremely hard and I didn't have the energy to edit this properly and make it as good as it should have been, but I wanted to put something out that's at least a little fun on this monumentally shit day.
> 
> I hope this brings whoever reads some small amount of happiness.


End file.
